Missed Calls
by msblaineyxo
Summary: "E-Enj?" Eponine asked, her hand on his cheek, "Y-You're alive?" Enjolras gave her a strange look, one of unknowing. Suddenly, Eponine's hand felt out of place on his cheek. "I-I'm sorry, I don't think we've met," He said, "Have we?" "What are you talking about, Enj?" Ep whispered, staring into his eyes, "Do you really not recognize me? He shook his head and her world crumbled.
1. Chapter 1

It was 9:00 when Eponine's eyes fluttered open. She felt Enjolras' arm around her waist and smiled, still smelling his cologne from last night. She suddenly realized that she was very naked and pulled the sheets over her bare chest. Enjolras began to stir and soon, she felt his lips peck against her neck in a "Good Morning" kiss.

"G'Morning," She said with a smile, rolling over to face him. His hazel eyes met her brown ones and the crinkles near his eyes that she had fallen in love with began to form. His dirty blonde hair was a mess around his forehead. But, she didn't care about his hair, or his laugh like a four year old or how he was he slob. He was hers. And she was his.

"You smell good," She whispered, a smile forming on her lips, "But you have got some serious morning breath going on, my friend," She tapped her finger on his nose and he rolled his eyes and Eponine laughed.

"Do you smell something?" She asked, pulling the sheets up again as she stretched her back. He sat on the edge of the bed, his hand resting on her thigh.

"Maybe it's my breath?" He said with a smirk and he pecked her on the cheek, "But I do smell something. It smells like burning... plastic?" Eponine shrugged, as Enjolras stood up, his chiseled chest exposed to the girl cloaked in the white sheets.

"Whatever, I guess. I gotta run down to the station, okay? I'll be back by noon," He pecked her quickly on the lips and Ep knew the drill. He would run to work, get back covered in sweat and debris and they would fight over bills, work or whatever happened to be pissing Enj off that day. And she would bite her lip, keeping quiet and there would be make-up sex that made Eponine feel so cold and empty, it was unbelievable.

"Wait, just stay. Let me make you breakfast," She said, throwing on a t-shirt resting on the edge of the bed, "We never see each other anymore and when we do, you smell like smoke and your head seems so full that it's crazy,"

He stared at her for a moment and finally, began to nod. Eponine smiled at him and stood on her tiptoes, placing her lips against his for a split second. Maybe today would be a new day. One where Enj would not fall asleep on the couch with a mouthful of wine.

Ep had never been the master of cooking. In their first year, she had cooked him eggs and hamburgers, a mix that became old quickly and they discovered the wonders of take-out. But now, she could at least make an omelette that Enj wouldn't politely spit into his napkin.

"Ham or turkey?" She asked, whisking the eggs with milk, but he put up a finger to silence her as he stared at the TV. Enj wasn't one to watch TV, but when he did, she knew something wasn't right.

"You okay?" Ep asked, wiping a bit of egg yolk off her hand, "What's going on?" Enj said nothing, just he pointed a shaking finger at the screen.

And there, in crystal clear writing, it read, "Twin Towers attacked in apparent terrorist plot. Thousands of casualties expected," The news reporter babbled on and in the side, she could see the two buildings, each up in a thick fog of smoke and debris. She felt a wave of numbness flood through her. It couldn't be true. She walked by those buildings at least twice a day. They represented the dream that Eponine had wanted. The one she had moved to New York to achieve. They watched in silence for a moment that felt like a lifetime. And that was when she saw men in fire gear walking towards the smoky buildings. And it was then that the phone rang.

Eponine watched Enj stand up and walk over to the phone, his face blank. Usually, he was laughing or frowning. But showing nothing at all was what scared Eponine the most.

"Yessir" Enj said into the receiver, "I'll be right there, Mr. Valjean. Yessir, I understand. Good luck to you too," And he walked back to the couch, his face a sickly grey.

"They're sending us in there," Enj said after a pause, "I have to go, Ep. I could save lives," Eponine shook her head, tears blurring her eyes. She wouldn't allow it. Not today.

"Are you fucking crazy?! It's a death trap, Enj!" She said, trying to keep her breath calm from fear of sobbing, "Please don't. Please stay with me,"

For a split second, Enj wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed and pretend he had never turned on the TV. But, he knew where he stood. And Ep would have to forgive him.

"E, I am going to be fine, I promise," He said and he pulled on a dirty shirt lying on the ground next to him, slipping on his loafers and feeling a deep emptiness in his stomach.

Ep finally stopped her dry-sobbing for a moment and soon, her sorrow turned to red hot fury. She wiped away her tears, her face twisted with anger.

"Enjolras... If you walk out that door, I-I will hate you!" She spat at Enj. He tried to embrace her, but she pushed his arms off of her. Enj wasn't sure if he wanted to shake Eponine out, to get her to calm down or if he wanted to hold her in his arms and never let go.

"You won't even notice I'm gone, Eponine," He said, cupping her face in his hands, "Say a prayer, okay? Not for me. But for all those people who might not make it home tonight,"

Eponine nodded as he planted his lips on her forehead and left Eponine, the apartment too empty for her as she collapsed to the floor.


	2. Chapter 2

Black smog filled Enjolras' lungs as he climbed the never-ending stairs. People blessed the young man, occasionally lifting his helmet and dousing him with water and one woman took off a rosary hanging from her neck and pressed it into his palm, muttering a small, "May the Lord have mercy on you,"

However, no matter how many people he talked to as he climbed the stairs, the people leaving going down the left and the rising going up the right, his mind was blank. No matter how many whooping coughs and shots of oxygen he took into his lungs, his breath came in short.

"Ras!" Marius called out to him, "We need some help up here!" Marius was Enjolras' best friend since the 11th grade. They had bonded over loving the Smiths and hating the Spice Girls, something their two younger sisters were obsessed with. And now, they climbed up the winding stair to their potential death's. Enjolras felt his stomach twist up into a knot.

"Joly is having trouble convincing this woman to come down. She's fairly heavy-set and she's saying that she can't go any farther. It's Me, You, Courfeyrac, Grantaire and Joly. The other's are gonna keep trudgin' up. So, I guess the real question is: Do you want to go back home tonight to Eponine?"

Marius offered his hand to Ras and for a second, Ras' thoughts were clouded. It was like he was dying and his entire life was flashing before his eyes. He saw his childhood and his teenage years. And birthdays and weeping over little things. And falling in love with Eponine.

She was about to occupy his thoughts, but he was interrupted by Marius grabbing my hand and leading him downstairs.

"Okay, Mrs. Santiago. You're gonna be okay. We're gonna get you home, okay?" Marius said, her chubby arm wrapped around Marius muscular shoulder, "You have any kids?"

She nodded, gasping for breath from exhaustion and the smoke, "I have a son named Charlie, a daughter named Lily and three grandbabies,"

"Well, you wanna see those grandbabies again, don't ya, Ms. Santiago?" Marius asked as Courfeyrac supported her with his other shoulder. Her legs were like jello as she stumbled down the packed staircase.

"We just gotta get you down a couple more floors. Cus I bet your family is real worried about right now," Courfeyrac said, as Grantaire offered her a shot of oxygen, "You're doing great," Suddenly, a low rumbling came from above. A woman shrieked and the power cut out. Suddenly, the bustling came to an abrupt stop and after 30 seconds of coughing and smog-filled breaths, the lights flickered on again.

"Oh my God," Joly said, staring out the only window the stairway offered, "The North Tower is...it's gone,"

"What the fuck do you mean it's gone?" Coufeyrac snapped at Joly, annoyance dripping from his voice, "110 story buildings just don't disappear, Joly," But, where the tower once stood was gone, a pile of rubble and a cloud of smoke had replaced it.

And that was when the panic set in.

The five friends guided the woman down the stairs and now, even their legs were shaking with fear.

"We're on the 20th floor, Ms. Santiago. We're gonna get you down, okay?" Enj said, his voice cracking from the lack of oxygen to his lungs.

It was then that the rumbling started.

"What the fuck is that?" Marius asked and suddenly, the sound of things falling on top of each other became louder and louder with each sickening crunch.

"Oh My GOD!" Someone called out and soon, the six were thrown to the floor, "Everyone get down!" Soon, the building let out a sickening squeal and suddenly, Enjolras had the feeling of falling.

And it was in those seconds, those few seconds, that he thought of Eponine.

"I never got to tell Eponine how I felt! It can't end like this! God in Heaven, look down on us with mercy!" Enj cried out, tears stinging his face, "I can't die yet! I want to live!"

And it was then that he felt Marius' hand squeeze his. And then everything went to black.


	3. Chapter 3

She glanced down at the poster in her hands. It had been written hastily on a manilla envelope and a spare picture of Enjolras had been stapled to the paper. And somehow, just seeing the picture made her feel a tiny bit whole again.

MISSING: ADAM JAMES ENJOLRAS

LAST SEEN: WORLD TRADE CENTER

OCCUPATION: FDNY

HEIGHT: 6'0"

AGE: 23

"Enj, where in the world have you gone?" Eponine asked to nobody in particular. She looked at the wall in front of her, words like "Missing" and "World Trade Center" were scattered in front of her. She saw pictures of smiling faces. A man taped up a poster next to her. She gave a small, sympathetic smile and he did the same.

Maybe Enjolras was dead. Maybe he had been killed on impact. Eponine just prayed that whatever happened to him was quick and painless. She prayed he was warm and safe and happy... wherever he was.

"It's my daughter," The man said quietly and Eponine glanced at his poster. A smiling girl holding a champagne fluke was laughing at the camera. Her name read 'Lily Renee Vanderbildt'. "She worked on the 105th floor. But, I'm keepin' the faith, ya know? How about you?"

Eponine wasn't shocked at the man. During times of tragedy, people put their trust in strangers. She even felt a little bit honored that this random man had shared his pain with her.

"My boyfriend. He's part of the FDNY," Eponine sighed. After day of her parents calling, she was admitting her deepest fears to a man whose name she didn't even know, "Ya know? I just can't help but feel that he's not gone. That maybe he's pinned beneath a beam somewhere and he's lonely and cold and scared. I think that would be worse than death,"

He nodded a knowing nod as if he knew her pain. And he did. But no matter how many people had experienced what she was experiencing, she felt so alone.

"Well, keep your hopes up. Anything is possible. Keep your chin up. And I hope he's okay," He said and with a simple wave, the man walked off. And the tears that Eponine had been holding back for over a week flowed openly down her face. She pressed her forehead against where she had stapled the poster.

"Enj, I swear to God..." She muttered, her life seeming to cave in in front of her.


	4. Chapter 4

Enjolras' head pounded as his eyes adjusted to the complete darkness. He put two fingers up to a throbbing pain, only to have blood once he drew his hand back.

The next thing that hit him was the smell. Of blood and rust and mildew, it made Enj gag as he finally saw what was around him. He saw Marius, Courfeyrac, Joly and Grantaire, their bodies twisted at strange angles.

"Guys," Enj said, crawling in the never-ending pit, "C'mon. What happened? Where are we?" He pressed his finger against their necks and felt the slightest of pulses, each seeming to slow down by the moment.

He stared up from the never-ending abyss they seemed to be stuck in and called out with all the might he had, his voice cracked and dry, "Hello?" There was no answer.

Enjolras thought. He really, really did. But everytime he would try to think of where he was, his mind would come up blank. The last thing he remembered was shining the fire truck with Marius and getting yelled at for goofing off. He glanced down at his uniform, which confirmed that he was no longer a cadet. Was he now an actual part of the squad?

That didn't matter as he put a shaking hand to get Marius' gear off. It was only important to drag these boys he had grown up with out of this dark dungeon wherever they were.

He gripped a piece of metal, cold to the touch as he dragged Marius up, careful to not have the unconscious boy hit his head. What had happened to get them down into this hole of blood, misery and despair?

He sat Marius on a ledge, almost near the top. His throat ached for water and he wanted to fall asleep and never wake up. But he knew he couldn't. Something was up there. Maybe the key to what had happened.

He then dragged Courfeyrac and then Joly and finally, Grantaire. He seated them on the ledge, finally reaching the light he so desperately craved.

"Hello?" He called into the sunlight that nearly blinded him, "Please help. I just woke up and... my friends are down there,"

Enjolras' voice was barely above a whisper as he looked onto the smoking pile of rubble. Something horrible had happened. And this was just the beginning.


	5. Chapter 5

It was 2:29 AM when the phone rang loudly into Eponine's ear. She jolted up, the sound scaring her out of her dream. She tried to spread her body out as wide as she could. Maybe then the bed would feel less empty. She would give anything for Enjolras' snoring, his cold feet or how he talked in his sleep. But, he was gone. And Eponine had known that ever since he had last given her his signature crooked grin.

"Hullo?" Eponine asked, sleepily into the phone, "This is Eponine," She wasn't angry at the caller for interrupting the first real sleep she had had in a week, just a little tired and sad.

"Eponine Thenardier?" A voice asked, "This is Melanie Roades. I'm a nurse here at Bellevue Hospital Center. Are you busy?"

It took everything in Eponine to not to snap at the nurse, 'Just sleeping for the first time in a week. I have been worried sick. My boyfriend is dead. So, no. I'm not busy,'

"No, I just woke up. Is everything okay?" Eponine asked, sliding her legs over to the side of the bed, forcing her to sit up.

"Before we can tell you anything, we need you to get down here. Company policy," The nurse replied and Eponine wasn't sure to feel excited or sickened. She hung up the phone and let out a long groan as she pulled on a pair of pants, venturing out into the cold Manhattan air.

The second Eponine arrived at the hospital, she could sense something wasn't right. She had a nagging feeling gnawing at the pit in her stomach that had been there since Enj had been gone. She shut her eyes as the doors slid open and she was directed by a nurse to the room where someone was waiting.

Please don't let mom or dad be sick. Don't let it be Azelma. Anything, but that.

But it wasn't her parents or her sister. Instead, on the bed, an IV attached to his arm and cuts of his face, laid a sleeping Enjolras. And that was when Eponine fell to the ground in thanks.


	6. Chapter 6

Enjolras' eyes adjusted to the sunlight streaming through the hospital window. His head pounded in pain as he glanced around the room. Pure white, a bouquet of flowers and an arrangement of cards scattered on the table beside him. He was warm and comfortable, but a knot in his stomach made it impossible for him to go to sleep again.

And it was then that he noticed someone watching him from a chair in the corner, a smile slowly creeping up her face. She stood slowly and walked towards him. She grinned, shaking her head.

"E-Enj?" She asked, her hand on his cheek, "Y-You're alive?" Enjolras gave her a strange look, one of unknowing. Suddenly, Eponine's hand felt out of place on his cheek.

"I-I'm sorry, I don't think we've met," Enjolras said, "Have we?" Who was this girl? She was beautiful with brown waves and tanned skin, but he didn't know her.

"What are you talking about, Enj?" She whispered, staring into his eyes, "Do you really not recognize me?

He shook his head and her smile suddenly slid off her face. Her hand flew to her mouth and her eyes were suddenly swimming with tears.

A knock on the door seemed to save Enjolras from the strange girl. Instead of the usual company (A nurse or his parents) there stood Marius, his leg in a pure white cast, a smile illuminating his face.

"Oh Thank God, you're okay," Marius said, hobbling over to Enj and gripping him in a tight bear hug, "That was just awful. I bet you're excited to see Ep again, eh?" Enjolras smiled as his friend patted his back.

"Who?" Enj asked as Marius broke the hug. Marius gave him a strange look.

"Stop fuckin' around, Enj," Marius said, the level of calm in his voice strangely high. He looked at Eponine who had retreated to her seat, her head in her hands, "Are you serious?"

"He's serious," Eponine said, her voice low, "What the fuck happened?" Eponine wasn't one to swear, but this situation wasn't like anything she had ever experienced.

"Well, when the Towers collapsed, we were thrown to the ground. And maybe he hit his head? I can't tell you, it's blurry for me too," Marius explained and Enj nodded. Why couldn't he remember.

"What's the last thing you remember?" Marius asked, sitting on the edge of the cot, staring Enj straight in the eyes, "And be honest. If you were masturbating or whatever, I won't care," Marius noted a slight blush in Eponine's tear streaked face.

"No, man, it wasn't anything like that. The last thing I remember was Combeferre, Bousset, Jehan, You and I cleaning the Engine. It was August, I think. And how are they, by the way?" Enj asked. Marius' chest felt tight are his heart.

"T-They didn't make it, Enj. Joly, Courfeyrac, Grantaire, You and I are the only ones in the squadron left. And Mr. Valjean, of course,"

It couldn't be true. Enjolras shut his eyes, his head still throbbing, taking in the new information.


	7. Chapter 7

Eponine didn't understand. Of course she understood what had happened medically. The nurse explained it to her as Eponine bit her thumb nail. Amnesia was common and he should recover in a month or so. Familiar settings, old routines. But what Eponine didn't understand was why him. Why her Enjolras.

"He's a hero, ma'am. Without him saving his friends, they would have been goners," The nurse said, an attempt to make Eponine feel better.

It didn't.

And then she was alone with Enjolras again. Eponine could almost taste the awkward tension.

Enjolras didn't say anything for a moment, the only sound being the nurse's Ked's squeaking on the freshly cleaned floor outside.

"So. Eponine," Enjolras said suddenly, "What's my life like. What do I usually do?"

Eponine smiled a bit. Even though he didn't recognize her, he was the same boy she had fallen in love with.

"Well, usually, you get up earlier than I do and I suspect you get Dunkin Donuts for coffee because I see daily receipts," Eponine said with a smile, "Then you go to work and we get take-out because God knows I can't cook. You love Chinese and Mexican, but hate Thai and Italian. Then, you'll watch the Yankees and you wear your hat during every game that your dad got you for Christmas four years ago. Then, you'll go to sleep,"

"Wow," He said with his crooked grin, "It doesn't seem like much has changed since 1997," Eponine nodded.

"So, tell me more. What's going on in the world?" He asked, leaning against the pillow, his voice raspy, "Who is the president?"

"George W. Bush," Eponine said with a smile, leaning against her hand, "We both voted for him,"

"Republican or Democrat?" He asked, slightly amused.

"Republican,"

"Why would I vote Republican?"

"I was wondering the same thing for a couple of months myself,"

Eponine smiled at him and he smiled back. Maybe things could go back to the way they were. Just maybe.


	8. Chapter 8

Shannon Doherty. Blonde hair, blue eyes, goofy dimples and a personality that made Enjolras fall in love with her in the first place. But, that had been years ago. But, had it? He didn't understand. He didn't understand at all.

And now, as this strange "new" girl opened up the door to his new home, he couldn't help but feel nauseous. He wanted to go back home to his parents. To sort things out until he felt ready to embrace the world with open arms.

"So, we have the bedroom over there and the kitchen. TV's here and there's the bathroom," Eponine said with a wide grin, "You get yourself situated, I'm just gonna try to cook something for dinner,"

Enjolras stuttered, attempting to make an excuse to get outside.

"I-I'm gonna go for a walk really quick, okay?" He said, lying through his teeth, "Ya know, maybe try to get used to the new place,"

"Are you sure?" Eponine asked, glancing up from a leather-bound recipe book, "Will you remember how to get back?"

"I'll be fine," He said and he pulled on his coat, walking into the brisk Autumn air.

Enjolras stood on the door he had stood a million times before, but now it was different. The boy he was back then was three inches shorter than the boy he was now and as he slicked his fingers through his hair, he couldn't think of the words to say.

And the door swung open and there stood Shannon, her hair still blonde and her eyes still blue. Enjolras' heart flipped in his chest.

"Enjolras?" She asked, staring him in the eyes, "Wow! How are you? Come on in," Enjolras obliged and glanced around. It was messy as he had last seen it, but with a different vibe.

"I was so nervous something had happened to you on the 11th," She admitted, her hand pressed against her chest, "I'm so happy you're okay,"

Enjolras nodded. She had definitely grown. Instead of the cute girl-next-door, she had changed. And Enj liked what he saw.

"So, what have you been up to lately?" She asked and Enjolras struggled to find the words. Who could?

"Well, about that..." He muttered, looking up at the ceiling, "On the 11th, I hit my head pretty hard and everything went to black. And I woke up and I suppose that now it's 2001 and I'm here,"

Shannon was silent for a moment. She pressed her lips together, the only sound being the grand clock in the corner.

If Enjolras had known what was brewing in the blondes head, he would have run and never looked back. But he couldn't. And he was caught in the scheming girls plot.

"Do you wanna go get some coffee?" She asked, standing up. Enjolras felt his heart pounding and was almost positive that Shannon could hear it.

****"I-I'd like that," He said and the two left, Enjolras not aware of the girls plans.


	9. Chapter 9

Eponine plunked down another key on the piano. Nothing. She had absolutely nothing. How she wanted to slam her fists down on the ruddy black and white notes and storm off, but she knew she couldn't. So, she plunked out another key, silently screaming with frustration.

She remembered high school. She remembered the fat jokes, she remembered the self-hatred, she remembered thinking she had won. But now, she was back at square one once again, feeling lower than she ever had. She had prayed that she would have grown, not physically, but mentally. She had wished for years that somehow something, anything, would change, but nothing had changed. Nothing at all.

It had been a December night when Enjolras and Eponine had first met. He was enchanting and Eponine found it hard not to fall in love with him. But the price of love was loss and Eponine now knew that.

The door swung open and Eponine heard the familiar sound of Enjolras' boots hitting the linoleum landing. He walked into where her keyboard was set up, his hair messy from the wind and his cheeks bright pink from the blustery chill.

"Glad you found your way back alright," Eponine said, trying to remain casual, "Worried you were gonna get yourself lost,"

"Nope," He muttered, popping the 'p', "But, I think I'm just gonna hit the hay soon. I'm feeling pretty tired," He took off his jacket, throwing it on the hook and shuffling into the bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

"Well, I guess the couch is mine tonight," Eponine muttered to nobody in particular and she immediately felt selfish. He didn't remember her and now, she complained about having to sleep somewhere she wasn't used to. What was happening to her?

All Eponine wanted was to have his arms wrapped around her waist and have his blonde curls brush against her brown waves. All she wanted was the old, dysfunctional relationship and the drunken laughter booming through the studio apartment. To hear him crack awful jokes that would make her laugh at the cheesiness. To have his smile and his touch on her skin

****But now, he slept and Eponine knew. She knew that she wasn't his anymore. But Eponine wasn't used to getting what she needed anyway.


	10. Chapter 10

Bossuet's funeral was first out of the friends. Then Combeferre. Jehan. Feuilly. One by one, Enjolras watched his friends get dropped into the ground. And of course, he would try to remember them, but he knew that eventually, he would have to smile again and maybe things would seem like they were okay. But, they weren't

He remembered pool hopping with Feuilly in 10th grade. He remembered rebelling against "the man" and smoking cigarettes with Bossuet in 12th grade. He laughed with Jehan about Marius trying to get up the courage to actually talk to Cosette in 7th grade. He remembered getting drunk with Combeferre in 9th grade off of , they were gone like they had never been there in the first place.

Enjolras downed his fifth shot, slouched over against the bar table. It was 3:00 AM and he sat alone, his head pounding. Lately, waking up in the morning with a hangover was the only way he would be able to somehow fight off the tears that would constantly flow down his face. The sobbing had been over for several days now and now, he would just have tears constantly coming off his cheeks. And he didn't understand why.

His whole self hurt. Everything about him ached. He ached to go back to what seemed so close, but was really so far. Amy Winehouse played silently through the empty bar as he tried to straighten out his thoughts into sentences.

"Hey, we close in ten minutes, bud. You needa cab?" The bartender asked with a thick New York as he shined a cup, "You don't look too hot," Enjolras tried to form words, but his voice cracked and suddenly, a new wave of tears were flooding down his face.

"Jesus, buddy. Sorry if I offended ya," The bartender said, throwing the rag over his shoulder, "The cab will be here in twenty and I think it's in both of our best interests if you lay off the alcohol,"

"Yeah, sure," Enjolras said, wiping away a tear, his voice slurred, "This is a fucked up world. And it seems that nobody else seems to notice it," The bartender said nothing and Enjolras just got up suddenly, grabbing his jacket. He teetered for a moment, balancing himself before stumbling out into the cold air.

He tripped over his own feet as he made his way back to his house. Somehow, he remembered where he was and he fumbled for the key in his pocket, jabbing it into the lock and stumbling upstairs, his head pounding, the world on a tilt.

He pounded on the door, not meaning to be loud, but it was loud all the same.

The door squeaked open and there stood Eponine. She rolled her eyes, but the eye roll was one of care and she grabbed his hands and led him inside.


	11. Chapter 11

Eponine felt his hands in hers and it almost felt like old times, but Eponine knew they weren't. If they were, he wouldn't be going out each night to get wasted off his ass and leave the dirty work to her.

"Okay Enj, we're gonna get you into bed so you can sleep this off, okay?" She said, leading him through the barely lit apartment and he followed, stumbling behind her when he suddenly stopped, gripping her hand tightly. She turned around, facing him and his face was barely

"Can I tell you a secret?" He asked, a small smirk on his face, "And you can't tell anyone," She nodded and her heart melted a little bit. Even though he now stood drunk before her, his hair a mess and looking as if he had crawled from a dumpster, he was handsome and Eponine felt her heart pounding against her chest.

He put his hand on the wall behind her and Eponine felt a lump growing in her throat. She could have leaned in and kissed him even if his breath did reek of whiskey and loneliness. He put his hand on her cheek and Eponine felt like she was in a dream, but also a nightmare.

She wanted nothing more than to close the gap between them and stay there forever. But he was drunk and she was aware. She knew that he would wake up in the morning, grunt a 'hello' and leave her again.

"I wish I could remember you," He said after a moment, their eyes meeting and locking together, "I wish I could remember anything," He shook his head for a moment and Eponine stood there and Enjolras backed away.

"Enjolras," Eponine as he sunk into their couch, his head in his hands, "You're not going to remember any of this in the morning. So, I might as well say it now,"

"Shoot," He muttered, not glancing up at the broken girl.

"Losing you was the second hardest thing I have ever experienced. But the first was finding you and having to let you go again. I wish you could somehow snap out of it. I just want _my_ Enjolras to jump off of Cloud Nine and find his way home again. You're half you, but half not. And I don't even know what is exactly missing," Eponine said, her nose having a familiar pepper-y feeling she always got before she cried, "I just pray to God you hear me. But it's late and I'm tired and you're drunk. We both need sleep and I'll see you, or whoever you are now, in the morning,"

She said nothing for a moment as Enjolras stood and opened up the bedroom door, walking inside and shutting it.

"I swear to God, Enj. Where are you?" She asked, the sound of the city gently putting the exhausted, imperfect girl to rest once again.


	12. Chapter 12

"Enjolras, is it?" The woman asked, standing once Enjolras entered the room. He nodded and she smiled a bit at him. It was a smile of pity and instead of being comforting, it made Enjolras feel worse than he already did, "I'm Judy Carmichael. Let's chat, shall we?"

Enjolras had never been to a therapist before. He felt like a nut-case, a loon, for even agreeing to meet the woman. But now, he laid back on a couch that smelled like moth balls as she interogated him.

_I don't need a therapist._

_I'm completely fine._

_I'm not crazy._

"Your girlfriend, Eponine explained your situation to me and I'd just like to-"

"She's not my girlfriend," Enjolras interuppted suddenly, "I barely know her,"

"Ah. Right," Judy said, a slight smirk rising onto her cheeks as she scribbled something down on her legal note-pad, "Alright. So Enjolras, what is the last thing you remember?"

"I was washing the fire engine with some of my friends. It was around 11 AM. Valjean got pissed because we were taking too long and we were just laughing and-," He stopped suddenly, his heart beginning to race "and... And now they're dead. Jesus Christ," He finally realized that they weren't coming back. No matter how drunk he got, no matter how many tears he cried. His friends were gone. At least for this lifetime.

She nodded sympathetically and she babbled on about amnesia and how some people choose not to remember as many things are too painful. Some people think there were reasons that the brain chose amnesia. Enjolras began to think and she talked and he nodded, throwing in an occasional 'yeah' to seem like he was pay attention even though he wasn't.

He thought of Eponine, the beautiful girl who seemed to be in love with him. He had no reason not to be in love with her. She was funny and she laughed like a four year old and had brown eyes that he could swim in. She was kind and gentle and she attended to him and for whatever reason, he was pushing her away. And he didn't understand why.

And now, he laid in an office that smelled like old cologne and fresh moth balls and listened to the clock ticking away past every second.

And after a moments silence, she asked, "Do you want to remember, Enjolras?"

Enjolras shut his eyes, taking in everything around him. The cologne, the scribbling on the legal pad, the moth balls. And he said something that he shouldn't have. Something that he wouldn't regret, but certainly not something he would agree with.

"I don't want to remember. I just want to go back to where ever the hell I was. Everything has changed. I look older, I'm in a new apartment and random people say that I'm their friends and-and I just can't fucking deal with it. And I don't know why this happened to me. Did I do something wrong? What kind of merciful God would punish someone this way?" And Enjolras let more tears flow like any other day since he had awoken.

She offered him a box of tissues, but he wiped his nose and his eyes on his sleeve, his eyes blodshot.

"No matter where I turn, something is different, something is changed. Nothing is the same and I feel as if I'm in some kinda fucking nightmare that won't end. I just want to wake the fuck up already,"

But even a therapist couldn't wake up Enjolras from his Hell. And he already knew this too well.


	13. Chapter 13

Eponine stirred the cream into her coffee until it was nearly white. Coffee was usually too strong for her, but with enough packets of sugar and cream, she could sip down the bitter drink.

Enjolras didn't remember and Eponine was still tired. Somehow, it had seemed like less of a burden as the days went on, but pain still twinged on in her heart. They had small conversations and when they did talk it would usually consist of "Do you want me to iron that?" or "Pass the salt, please."

Enjolras had shot down the idea of going to Alcoholics Anonymous. 'I'm not an alchoholic!' he had shouted after Eponine had handed him the brochure for the program, 'I'm just stressed. That's it. And it isn't any of your business,'

That had hurt more than anything. It was a casual comment, but ever the nosy, Eponine had always tried to help. But maybe it was futile. She stirred the coffee once again, the milk swirling around; a sea of light brown.

It was midnight and Eponine could practically feel the bags growing under her eyes. Enjolras had grumbled that he was 'visiting Marius' at around 8:00, but she knew that was a blatant lie. She stared at the phone, the idea of calling the man growing before she shot down her own suggestion. That would seem clingy and as he seemed to constantly remind her, she wasn't his mother.

"But I _am_ your girlfriend," Eponine muttered to herself. It was cold in the apartment and she rubbed her palms on her upper arms, the friction barely warming her goose-bump covered arms. The only noise in the house was the grandfather clock ticking slowly in the kitchen corner.

Suddenly, the door swung open and feet stumbled in from the mudroom. Eponine's heart seemed to sink and soar at the same time. It soared that he was home and safe instead out of the cold, dark world. But she could also sense his drunkeness from the kitchen.

Her instincts proved to be correct. Enjolras walked in, a small stretched across his face, tripping over his own feet.

"Heyy Eppp," He slurred and Eponine rolled her eyes, "Howw iss myy favoriteee girlll feelinggg?"

"Enjolras, you're drunk. You should go to bed," Eponine muttered and for some reason, she found it hard to stare him directly in the eyes. For a moment, he swayed in his spot before offering a shaking hand to the girl.

"Comee onn, Eppp," He muttered, "I-I wannaa showw youuu somethinngg coollll," Eponine was reluctant, but she grabbed his hand to stand herself up.

Before she could do anything else, he had his lips pressed against hers. It caught her by surprise and she almost stopped herself, but it felt so good to be feeling some sense of familiarity. It wasn't like Enjolras though. Not her Enjolras at least. His breath smelled like whiskey and gin and she missed his old scent of spearmint gum.

But, it was better than nothing, she assumed.

He went to take off his shirt and Eponine's heart stopped. She had slept with Enjolras many times before, but it wasn't really him. It almost felt like she was cheating on the memory of what he used to be.

He pulled off his shirt and broke the kiss, a stupid grin filling his face.

"You know Eponine... You're really, really hot. In the way that you deserve to show it off a bit more," He said with a wink and Eponine tried not to gag, but he lead her to the bderoom and onto the bed, throwing his shirt to the side.

His hands ran down her waist and up her shirt, causing her breath to hitch. He pulled hers off, scruffing her hair andand he kissed her hard, probably leaving her with a fat lip by morning.

**(A/N: M-RATED BEYOND THIS POINT. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK)**

He squeezed her breast in his hand, kissing down her jaw, nibbling at her neck. He pulled off his pants and Eponine knew that this wasn't really Enjolras. Sure, it was his body and his hands, but maybe things were different. Things that even his memory couldn't bring back.

He pulled off her panties and there was no foreplay. No feeling. It wasn't love and Eponine knew that.

After a moment, he stuck himself inside of her and she bit her lip to keep from moaning out. She wrapped her legs around his back as slowly, he filled her, pumping in and out of her pussy.

"Jesus, Enjolras," She moaned as he picked up pace and her hands had found his back, already covered in a thin sheen of sweat. She dug her nails into his back, surely leaving a mark, but Enjolras didn't seem to care and he pulled her by the waist, closing the distance between them.

"Shit, Enj! Harder, please," She muttered and he pushed harder, the only noise being her moans and their bodies slapping together, finding a rhythm that suited them both. Suddenly, his breathing became more labored as they went on and Eponine began to feel a peaking feeling and soon, she cried out in pleasure as he pushed his thumb down hard on her clit as he came inside of her, sticky cum coating her cunt. It was a warm feeling and Eponine gripped her legs harder around his thighs as he rolled off of her.

He didn't kiss her on the forehead. He didn't even look at her. Not even a wink. He simply laid back on the bed and after several moments, his snoring filled the room.

And Eponine had never felt worse.


	14. Chapter 14

Enjolras woke up with a pounding headache. His eyes adjusted to the mid-October sunshine as he glanced around the room, trying to adjust himself to his surroundings. And it was then that a rustle in the sheets averted his attention.

There laid a naked Eponine, her hair flowing out from the pillow as she rolled over to face Enjolras. Her eyes fluttered open to match his and for a split second, they seemed to be a happy color, but they clouded over once the memories rolled back into her head.

"Enjolras, I don't-" She began, but he shook his head and stood up as she struggled to roll out of the sea of white sheets, "Enjolras, just please listen to me!"

"What is there to say, Eponine?" He asked, whipping around to face her, "I don't know what the Hell you were thinking," The look of apathy on her face suddenly turned to red hot fury.

"What _I_ was thinking? What the Hell?" She spat, "You came onto me last night!"

"I was drunk!"

"That's not an excuse and you know it, Enjolras. Jesus, I can't even do this anymore!" Eponine snapped and he rolled his eyes at her, putting his middle finger up to face the girl covered only in a think white sheet.

"What a gentleman you turned out to be, Enjolras!" She spat and he turned to face her, "You don't even love me anymore so what does it matter?"

Enjolras didn't know what to say. His heart was being held in Shannon's hands. And he had betrayed her in a drunken stupor.

"I tried pretending that I don't give a damn anymore, Enjolras, but I can't do this anymore! I'm not stupid, I know about Shannon. You were in love with her before and you're in love with her now. And don't try to say you're not because you are. You're in love with her. Just please tell me. No more games. Just please look me in the eye and tell me the truth: Are you in love with her, Enjolras?"

Enjolras felt his heart leap into his throat. Shannon was everything he had ever wanted. She was smart, beautiful and kind. But somehow, Eponine was all of those things at the same time. But, Shannon had him wrapped around her finger and he knew where his allegiance was.

"Eponine, please try to understand-" He began, but Eponine wouldn't hear it. As soon as the words had tumbled out of his mouth and into the air, Eponine began to cry unabashedly. Tears flowed down her face as she sobbed into her sleeve.

Enjolras felt a knot in his stomach as he watched her sit on the couch, her head in her hands as she sniffled loudly. He knew that attempting to comfort her would only draw more tears and even if he didn't love her, seeing her in such despair killed him inside.

After a moment, she composed herself and looked up at Enjolras.

"I tried to cure you. To help you lose your demons and whatever was haunting you. But I can't bring back Combeferre or Bossuet or-or any of our friends. And I say our because they were my friends too, Enjolras. And I know that whatever happened to you happened for a reason. Maybe we weren't meant to be. Maybe some day, I will look back and smile and remember our love as a passing fling. But just please remember that I loved you and in these final, complicated days that I truly loved you and nobody but you. But I want you to be happy. And I think that being with Shannon will bring you that. But I did love you and all I wanted from you was to be loved as well. And I will look back at you with a smile one day and be happy for whatever has become of you. I just hope she'll love you as unconditionally as I did," Eponine muttered, staring Enjolras in the eyes.

Nobody said anything for a moment and Enjolras stood there, pondering what to do. Finally, Eponine stood and when standing on her tiptoes, she kissed Enjolras on the forehead for the final time, a fleeting goodbye.

"I'll go over to Cosette's place for a bit while I move my things out of here," Eponine said, throwing on a pair of pants, "I just want the basics. My clothes, my tapes, all that stuff,"

It hadn't struck Enjolras as permanence yet and he was baffled as she pulled on a stray pair of pants and grabbed her purse.

She pulled on a pair of flats, pushing her palms into her eyes to keep anymore tears from possibly leaking out onto her cheeks. Just before she left the apartment for one last time, Enjolras called out to her.

"Eponine?"

"Yes?"

"Someday, I hope I can love you as much as you love me,"

Eponine said nothing and made eye contact with the nearly-naked boy before her.

She simply muttered, "I hope so too, Enjolras," and with a final, fleeting smile, she shut the forever squeaky front door and left Enjolras in a world of his own.


	15. Chapter 15

Cosette was a beautiful creature. With long golden curls that cascaded past her shoulders, every boy seemed to lust after her. She was smart, kind and intelligent. Eponine was immensely jealous of her.

Eponine had been sleeping on Cosette's couch for about a month when she first began to feel sick. Puking, no appetite and constant headaches. Eponine was never ill and something was wrong. She could feel it.

"Ep, are you okay? You don't look too hot," Cosette warned, munching on a salad. It was 8:00 at night and the day had seemed to lag on for Eponine, "Do you want some water?"

"N-No, I'm fine. I just need to get some rest," Eponine slurred, trying to balance herself as she stood. The world seemed to be on a tilt and suddenly, she collapsed to the ground, pain shooting through her body.

"Ep, I'm taking you to the hospital," Cosette announced suddenly as she stood, pushing her plate away from her, salad flying across the table, "You've been like this the entire week. I'm scared something is wrong,"

Finally, Eponine nodded. Cosette lifted the stumbling girl, supporting her with her shoulder as Eponine dragged her feet across the carpet. The world was blurring and changing. Eponine put a shaking finger to her temple before everything faded to black.

"How are you feeling, Eponine?" A man asked and Eponine's eyes fluttered open. She felt light-headed and tired and she glanced around to see where she was. A hospital. Goddammit.

"You gave us quite the scare a couple hours back. Any pains or anything that you think should be brought to our attention?" He asked and Eponine shook her head. He scanned through a clip-board with several pages attached to it.

"Well, your friend... Colette? She went to go grab some breakfast and I think that when she hears your awake, she'll come rushing back," The doctor said with a smile, "So, have you decided on a name yet?"

"What?" Eponine asked, confused, "For what?"

"The baby, of course."

Eponine felt her heart leap into her throat. It all made sense now. She had all the symptoms of pregnancy, but it couldn't be... She hadn't had sex recently.

That's when she remembered.

_The night before I left._

_God fucking Dammit._

"Very healthy. Your little girl is going to be very beautiful. Just like her mother." The doctor said with a wink and Eponine felt her heart flutter even though she was still in shock.

He _was_ cute...

_'What are you saying, 'Ponine?' _The girl scolded herself_, 'You're pregnant and you're thinking of another boy? What are you thinking?'_

"You're due in July. When was conception, do you know?"

"Mid-October," Eponine responded, her voice flat. She was scared. She was very, very, very scared.

He scribbled down on his papers, capping his pen and chewing on the tip.

"My best guess is... around October 15th, give or take a few days," He shrugged, "Congratulations, Eponine."

She looked at his name tag and back at him.

"Thank you, Dr. Montparnasse."


	16. Chapter 16

Eponine knew that eventually Enjolras would have to know the truth. But until that moment, she was pushing him out of her mind. No attempts at contact, no thinking about him and certainly no reminiscing. Because reminiscing meant missing someone.

And she knew she shouldn't miss someone when they didn't miss her.

Eponine stirred her milk. Cosette had cut off all supply of coffee to keep the baby as healthy as possible which left Eponine with little to no energy. She was exhausted, cranky and _man_, did her boobs hurt. The nights were unbearable as her back ached from walking, her ankles throbbing and swollen. Every part of her seemed to be in pain and she wasn't even through with her first trimester yet. She groaned outwardly into the empty apartment.

Everyone else seemed to always be out. The building seemed far too quiet and Eponine began to loathe being alone. The building felt so small and cold and Eponine would have to find some way to distract herself, whatever the cost. She would walk block upon New York block until she became lost. Being alone meant being faced with the facts of her error: She was pregnant. Her child would grow up with a dad. And Eponine wasn't any less of a child then she small little girl growing inside her stomach was.

Eponine took a sip of her milk and dumped the rest down the kitchen sink, the white liquid leaving a stain on the metal as it slipped down the drain. Sunlight beamed through the thin, cheap curtains that Cosette had made several weeks ago and Eponine had a sudden urge to leave. To leave the small apartment and the cheap curtains and whatever else seemed to be holding her back. And it seemed that all that was holding her back was Enjolras. And she knew what she needed to do.

Before she could sit herself down and even make a meager attempt to talk some common sense into herself, she was racing out of the building. The cool mid-Winter wind nipped at her skin as she walked farther from the building. New York didn't seem quite as big as it had, but today, there was something about the city. The buildings seemed warped and frail. And Eponine thought she had a solution to make everything seem the slightest bit normal in her own head, even if it meant turning another person's world upside down.

She was at the old building in a matter of minutes. When she zoned out, her legs still found a way back to the old apartment and there she stood. Of course, Dom the Doorman let her in and she slipped inside unnoticed, pressing the floor number. Of course, it was only 9:00. Enjolras was probably still asleep. Saturdays _were_ his days off. She considered hitting the lobby button the second the door opened up to the 16th floor, but it was too late to have second thoughts.

And so, she walked slowly towards the old apartment and it seemed... changed. Maybe a bit colder in her mind, but maybe to Enjolras, the new flowers added something that Eponine hadn't brought. And maybe it made him happier.

Maybe something as simple as door flowers had been what Enjolras had seen in Shannon in the first place.

But now, Eponine held her hand to the door. And with two swift movements, almost like ripping a bandage off a nearly healed scab, Eponine rapped her fist on the door.


End file.
